What to do about your addiction
It's easy to dismiss this as hyperbolic nonsense that has no grounding in the "real world," where plenty of people eat pizza and go about their business just fine. But "going about your business just fine" isn't a great standard by which to judge pizza's addictive qualities, or its effect on your health. Everyone knows cigarettes are addictive and cause cancer, but plenty of people smoke them for years and live their lives just fine... until they get cancer. Even harder drugs like heroin can string someone along for years, decades in some cases, before finally dealing the death blow.
The point is, if you eat pizza, and nothing but pizza, all the time, it's going to kill you. One way or another. Because your body just wasn't designed for pizza, even though it might seem like a gift from the heavens.
"We haven’t evolved with foods like pizza, cheeseburgers, and Twinkies. These are relatively new things of humans, the same way heroin and cocaine are new things for humans," Dr. Neabore points out. "People weren’t eating this stuff back in Columbus’ day."
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Liz Newman is a freelance writer for Thrillist, and could really use a separate support group for “pizza ranch dippers.” She has been clean for exactly zero days. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @lizn813.