Have you always wanted to start exercising, but couldn't find anything badass enough to suit your extreme tastes? Well, it's time to turn off Netflix, get off your couch, and head on down to Stumpy's Hatchet House, where you can hurl axes for two hours, or until you collapse from exhaustion.
That's right: While the rest of the world turns to virtual reality and on-demand personal trainers, you can still get your sweat on by throwing actual hatchets. Two hours at Stumpy's gets you a safety lesson (a good thing, what with all the hatchets flying around), a hatchet-throwing lesson (you could probably opt out if you weirdly know how already?) and all the hatchets you can hurl in a two-hour window. And if you've ever stood around throwing an object that weighs a couple pounds, you know how tiring it gets.
But it's not just a workout -- it's a stress-reliever! Stumpy's offers special "Axe Your Ex" breakup and divorce parties, certainly a healthier outlet than literally axing your ex. Right next to that package is the Baby Gender Reveal party; what says "we're excited to welcome a child into the world," better than a hatchet thrown at a wooden target? Or maybe you're just a Gary Paulsen fan looking to fulfill a lifelong dream.