Normally when I need to relieve myself, I simply step outside and pee freely into the wind.
But for all the men out there who don't live in New York City, where you are legally allowed and socially obliged to disregard social norms and treat the sidewalks like your own personal toilets [Ed. note: this is not true], you have to use urinals at some point. And I'd wager that a packed row of urinals is fertile ground for faux pas -- namely, the spot you pick. Should I stand next to this guy? Should I take the first urinal? Should I just hold it and let my bladder deal with it later?
Enter Urinal Man -- the self-described "urinal learning simulator." This (suprisingly difficult) game will grade your decision-making skills in the powder room -- giving you six stages of pissing scenarios, and putting the proverbial ball(s) in your court.
Here's how I see it: if you get an A or B, you are a normal person, and well-adjusted to our modern world and its standards. If you can't figure out what weirds people out in the bathroom, maybe you should just stick to the stall. Or the great outdoors -- like me.
Wil Fulton is a Staff Writer for Thrillist. He actually got an A+. Go figure. Follow him @wilfulton
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