Unfortunately, while these glands create sweat that mixes with bacteria to make us smelly, we kind of need 'em. "They control your body temperature," says Dr. George. "So if you're out running or jogging in the summertime, it can get really hot and your body has to somehow cool down. So by releasing sweat, you have an evaporative cooling effect. So you don't get high internal body temperatures."
And you can probably infer that if your body isn't able to cool itself off, bad things happen. "You can have massive seizures and die," confirms Dr. George. Massive seizures and death are bad!
So we've all got bacteria. Why don't we all smell the same?
One of the big reasons is diet, which makes a lot of sense, given the whole "you smell like what you eat" cliche. Wait, is that how it goes? As Dr. George explains, "Let's say you eat garlic, onions, and spicy foods that have odors. That can be a problem." As your body digests these foods, compounds are produced and released through the pores of the skin, and all of a sudden you smell like a refrigerator crisper that hasn't been cleaned in months.