Not only is that method impractical, it's probably dangerous for older folks, people with physical challenges or injuries, and, well, everyone, honestly. I needed to try the real deal.
The Squatty Potty was delivered to my office in a freaking huge (but mercifully unmarked) brown cardboard box. I sneaked it out to my car, hoping to dodge co-workers and the inevitable, "Ooh, what's that?" The box contained the white plastic stool, a Burger King-like crown with the hashtag #pooplikeroyalty, and a button that read "I Pooped Today!" (Though Squatty Potty entreats its Twitter followers to "share your Poop Like Royalty pics! #pooplikeroyalty," only one brave soul had risen to the challenge as of press time.)
I pooped today
This morning, after downing my banana, blueberry, and flaxseed smoothie (I am queen of roughage), it was time. I de-pantsed, sat down, angled my feet on the Squatty Potty, and let my colon do its life-sustaining work.