So what exactly did happen?
What did I do to myself, scientifically? And is it actually going to bring me back to near-prepubescent youth and energy?
It's hard to say. Cryotherapy was invented in in the late 1970s in Japan to reduce pain and inflammation in patients with rheumatoid arthritis. Over the next 20 years, advocates claimed it may improve myriad conditions, including asthma, Alzheimer's, anxiety, chronic pain, depression, fibromyalgia, insomnia, migraines, multiple sclerosis, osteoarthritis, and obesity.
If that sounds like a pretty broad list, it is, and there aren't enough concrete studies to back up that this is actually the case. Beyond that, the FDA study goes so far as to say that there are significant risks to cryotherapy, namely asphyxiation, especially when liquid nitrogen is used for cooling. I'm glad I read the FDA's advice AFTER doing the treatment.