You upped your healthy-eating game
Steamed broccoli should be a staple in a healthy diet, not the permanent smell coming out of your pants. Veggies are great for grown-up things like nutrients and vitamins, but they often wreak havoc on the digestive tract. The biggest culprits are cruciferous vegetables, which include broccoli, cauliflower, kale, Brussels sprouts, and cabbage. "They are actually [foods] that we can't digest, so the bacteria in our guts will digest them, and the byproduct is gas," Dr. Kathlynn Caguiat, gastroenterologist at Manhattan Gastroenterology, says. Same goes for beans and other legumes, due to their high fiber count.
Solution: This isn't an excuse to ditch veggies altogether; just don't go overboard on portions right away. Dr. Caguiat recommends starting with one or two servings at first, and slowly upping the intake over a couple weeks so your body gets used to it. If you absolutely must have that giant salad, she suggests taking a carminative beforehand, which is an herb that helps prevent the formation of gas in the GI tract. Some natural sources of carminatives are ginger, dill, and celery, or there's over-the-counter supplements such as Iberogast (a combination of nine different carminative herbs).
You're actually lactose intolerant
Cheese is probably the greatest topping of all time, but there's a reason farting is called "cutting the cheese." Its deliciousness creates unbearable farts because most people can't digest dairy. About 65% of adults are lactose intolerant, and that number could be even higher. "A lot of people don't realize they may be lactose intolerant," Dr. Caguiat says. As you get older, you lose the enzymes that help digest lactose, the sugar found in dairy. This explains why you could eat a whole pizza as a kid and feel nothing, but eating two pieces of pepper Jack at a party is enough to make you question your life choices.
Solution: First, make sure cheese is actually the cause of your rotten-egg farts. Eliminate all dairy completely for just a week (you'll survive!), and take note of how you feel once it's slowly reintroduced. If the hot, smelly farts come back, pair your favorite dairy-rich foods with a lactase supplement. Taking it with the first bite should ward off the gas, Dr. Caguiat says.
You have a secret food allergy
Remember when you made fun of people without celiac disease who claimed they were gluten intolerant? Turns out, that might actually be a thing. A study from the National Institutes of Health showed that non-celiac, gluten-sensitive people (NCGS) exhibited nasty symptoms after eating gluten, including bloating and constant farts, compared to the placebo group. Another gas catalyst could be fructose, the natural sugar found in fruit, especially if you have fructose malabsorption (similar to lactose intolerance). Like lactose, fructose is a sugar that can't be digested, and they both come out as room-clearing gas.
Solution: Try a low-FODMAP (short-chain carbohydrates and sugar alcohols that aren't easily absorbed) diet, which is an elimination diet that cuts out most cruciferous vegetables, legumes, high-fructose fruits, processed meats, wheat, and gluten. It sounds like Whole30 on crack, but it may help identify what’s causing those nonstop farts. Otherwise, visit your gastroenterologist for further testing, and raid the local pharmacy for over-the-counter supplements, such as Gas-X, Beano, or a carminative.