Don't judge the "yoga people"
I know yoga people seem weird, and maybe they are a little. They chant. They ohm. They wear stretchy pants. They speak Sanskrit during class, preach about the endless love of the universe, and some of them talk about the healing benefits of sweat lodges. One thing they’re not doing is judging you for coming out to practice with them for the first time. Return the favor, because of karma or whatever.
Don't eat two hours before
If it's your first class, you're probably not going to be standing on your head, but you'll be a lot more comfortable in general if you do yoga on an empty stomach. When lying on your back with your legs stretched out, the instructor may ask you to bring one leg (or both) into your chest. They don't call this the "wind-relieving pose" for nothing.
There's no such thing as indecency, so get over it
There's farting, crying, vomiting, wedgies, nip-slips, pools of sweat forming around people's mats, and some overachievers who go for the headstand during their first class and loudly flop right on their backs. Just keep practicing. I've seen it ALL, and it's happened to the best of us. Don't feel stupid if it happens to you, because no one else in the class will bat an eye at it -- unless you fall, then the teacher will quietly come check to make sure you're not concussed or something.
Don't walk out during savasana
This is the yogic equivalent of leaving church after communion. What, you're soooooo busy you can't be bothered to partake in the easiest part of the class? Just lie down and relax. You earned this time, and so did everyone else in class, so don't do it just for yourself, do it to not disturb others while you're making your exit. Trust me, you are NOT stealthy enough to leave without bothering people. If you're getting antsy, use this time to practice patience. Just like the rest of the class, savasana will be over before you know it.
Obviously this doesn't apply to any serious emergencies, medical or otherwise. You're an adult, you know what can wait.
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Mara Montalbano is a contributor to Thrillist and has much more respect for people who fall asleep and snore during savasana than people who walk out before it’s over. Follow her: @MaraMontalbano.