Black and White Biplane

Back in the day, flying was a death-defying experience that represented just how far humans could push the boundaries of physics and daredevilsm; today, flying's a grindingly monotonous task that pushes the boundaries of your stomach, with Cinnabons. Rekindle the excitement, with the Type A tour on the Black and White Biplane.

Operating out of Santa Monica Airport, the B&W Biplane's an exact replica of a 1935 YMF-5 two-passenger/one-pilot open-air prop plane, powered by a seven-cylinder, 275hp engine, formerly used for romantically mellow city tours, and just now enlisted for its proper purpose: scaring the sh*t out of you. On the new Type A tour, your top-rated airshow-vet acrobatic pilot'll start by buzzing the Hollywood sign, then dropping precariously into the canyons near Malibu, all the while busting insane WWI-era maneuvers like "Military Wingovers", where the almost upside-down plane drops straight down, pulling out into a 180 degree turn; "Knife Edge Turns", done at a full 90 degree angle; and a sick trick wherein the pilot'll turn the plane up until it's lost all lift, forcing it to stall and plummet -- known in aviation as a "Falling Leaf", which's misleading, because real falling leaves are already dead. You'll also closely follow the canyons' walls via "Ground Proximity Flying", and do the rollercoaster-esque "3g Pullups into Zero-G Over The Top Pushovers", which at the top will give you the experience of floating in space, and at the bottom will feel like Lincoln Hawk pwning Bull Hurley.

If you're a pathetic coward, B&W still does city tours anywhere within a 25mi radius of Santa Monica, which includes places like Long Beach and Downtown -- visiting which has now too been robbed of its death-defying thrill, as you're safely ensconced in a rickety biplane.