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Caricatures gone...classy?

Caricatures are great for people who can laugh at themselves, but what about those who can't, because their balloon-sized head would explode from the pressure of laughing? For a personal portrait without the humiliation: 1PaintMe.

From the bustling streets of Hong Kong, 1PM will turn any submitted photo of your visage into a custom handpainted canvas portrait, refusing to lean on Photoshop because they "are really artists", and henceforth can't afford it. Pick from 50+ scene templates in categories like Sports (your face as seen from inside a golf hole, whipping nunchucks a la Bruce Lee...), TV/Movies (e.g., pointing a silenced handgun at the viewer like 007), and even Adult, which they claim will help you remember your lover's "cute attitude and amazing shapes", though isn't Kid Chameleon a little young for you? Next, upload a pic w/ the expression you want featured, specify eye & hair color, pick a wood-framed canvas size, and decide if you want any extras, including text, logos, and unique colors, hopefully one befitting a skin tone that would shock even Procol Harum.

Should elaborate staging not be your thing, you can ask them to recreate a photo of your choice on canvas, at which point the only one to blame for your enormous fourth chin will be your actual fourth chin.