Discover where people are unwell, stay the hell away

Published On 11/29/2011 Published On 11/29/2011

Since Lil' Wayne's line about being so sick he needs Grey's Anatomy is more wordplay incorporating heteronyms and snappy pop culture references than a statement of fact, he doesn't need Sickweather, but you do, since it's a real-time database that tracks Facebook, et al, to terrify you with ailments ravaging the nation, and maps where the sickest people are most highly concentrated, although in the case of people actually named OJ, that'd be jail.

To show you how ill you're gonna be by the end of this sentence, Sick'll plot a map with orange polygons that display larger groupings of symptoms, plus zoomable "single-symptom reports" filtered by ailment from headache/stress to flu and ear infections, all pulled (using their advanced algorithm) from people's actual updates on Fbook, Twitter, and soon, Google+, even though it's in worse condition than anyone on this site.

Sync Sick with your accounts and it'll track your friends'/followers' infirmities and organize 'em by symptom, plus automatically update your status(es) when you post your own maladies to its board, which your devotees will no longer be now that you've done something other than retweet what Chelsea Handler just said about marmots.

Even better news for your Kluver-Bucy Syndrome: Sick will even find you nearby pharmacies/drug outlets based on holistic or medicinal preferences, although if you start saying you're "so sick, they think there's something in the herb", they'll probably guess why you're a Lil' Weezy.