For real aficionados there's no substitute for buying only the highest quality, like organic locally sourced produce, or Cooler Ranch Doritos. Giving you custom speakers that're Cooler than the ones you've got, Blumenstein Ultra Fi
Billed as "environmentally sustainable sounds systems that're handcrafted with love", BUF's a high-end line of sleek wooden speakers built in a 1000sqft Seattle workshop by an audio engineer whose design philosophy entails removing "all the unnecessary fluff" and who believes that "High Fidelity at its best is the music itself" -- although one might argue that it was when John Cusask throws Tim Robbins out of the record shop. Select sound boxes include
Orca: Crafted from Baltic birch, this compact 12mm desktop/bookshelf design (ironically named for the whale) produces far greater "warmth, detail, and dynamic range" largely thanks to tuned construction and "an overachieving fullrange driver", so...John Daly?
Naga: Standing waist high and described as a sexy "audible wooden sculpture", these slender two-toned Ultra Fi's don an elegant 1/2in bamboo plywood front, feature enclosures that're backloaded horns, and are named for the Buddhist god of serpents -- so you'll definitely want to listen to Whitesnake.
Josephine: These burly 36in tall large format loudspeakers produce an immensely powerful bass, and rock Black Locust paneling, an African mahogany base, and use drivers that date back to 1941, so maybe to be safe, don't use them at night.
To ensure the Bat Mitzvah stays thumping, BA also offers the Oniyanma, which includes artisan handmade drivers, as well as massive fully custom PA systems that can rock up to 10 speakers and boast an ability to "help you change the world with your music", which just might be a little Cheesier than you think.