Despite the self-assuredness of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, electricity isn't always awesome, which is why the Coloradan family behind koostik lovingly handcrafts an innovative assemblage of portable solid-wood sound docks that don't use it. Employing the same acoustic principles as guitars, these puppies'll amplify iPod (and just now, iPad) speakers 2-4x louder, all without a joule of juice, meaning you no longer need Tesla to rock out to Tesla. Models include
the original: Available in a mix of multiple woods (walnut, cherry, maple, or all three), this dual-speakered classic uses hemispherical sound chambers to create a rich dynamic tone
mini koo: Just released, this (large) matchbox-sized stand cuts down on the already modest bulk of the original, and uses a "trumpet horn" speaker shape to create a "fuller presence", as apparently Khloe Kardashian is busy...eating steak sandwiches
koostik for iPad: Also new, this cherry-grained guy cradles your tablet in portrait mode, redirecting its sound through a special cone, which thankfully isn't dipped in chocolate, or Khloe Kardashian would suddenly find herself very available
Because your apartment already smells of rich mahogany and espresso walnut, you can also score one of their soon-to-be-released docks that're constructed entirely of Bolivian rosewood in a run that's super-limited, unlike, apparently, the amount of electricity in Texas.