Because most big-name speakers out there either look bulky or cry every time they pass a playground, check out the work of Robert Grant: a British designer and "lifelong conceptualist", Grant's growing line of high-performance, "cinema surround quality" boomers are artfully stashed inside sculptures of iconic artifacts from early civilizations, meaning you'll be the only person you know rocking Az-tech. The starter collection includes
Italian Portraiture These statuesque speakers are cast of reinforced resin fiber, and're inspired by a bust of Roman emperor Lucius Verus, who was co-emperor alongside Marcus Aurelius, but sounded too much like a stripper's name to be included in Gladiator
Droid A sleek futuristic collab between RG & England's iconic dinnerware potters Wedgwood, these ceramic jobbies prove that China rocks in ways that that Guns N' Roses album never did
War Head Apparently not named for the only thing that made Saigon bearable for our GI's, this elegant replica of a three-legged Ghanaian tribal "ancestor mask" boldly conceals a speaker underneath
And since speakers by the koi pond might be nice too, he's got 10 new designs dropping in the next month or so, including a Gothic lion head, fossilized nautilus shell, and even an Egyptian scarab: an ancient amulet paying homage to the Sun God, which's also one thing the modern-day speaker seems to work hard at.