Halloween-y hang-ups

There are two types of people in this world: people who go all-out on Halloween decorations, and people who don't. But who cares, because both of them will inevitably be eaten by zombies anyway, specifically the insanely awesome ones portrayed in The Zombie Horde.

Proving yet again that everything is decidedly more deranged in Providence, a RISD grad's painted this creepy collection of blood-soaked undead so gory, they require the nerve-calming tagline, "to avoid panic, keep telling yourself...they are just paintings, they are just paintings...", so basically the same reason why museums suck will now save your sanity. Here's what everyone's so scared about:

Zombies You Don't Know: Heavy on attractive females, 6x6in, numbered & named stretched canvases depict the seductive/ seemingly topless Zombie 39 Debra F. luring you to your death with a frightening come-hither look; or the blonde Zombie 29 Amy C, who's captured in acrylic carefully licking the blood off her fingers... or are they someone else's?!

Zombies That Are You: For an extra $50, Horde will mask your natural unattractiveness by actually turning shots you send him into a custom portrait of yourself as a flesh-eating animated corpse in either a classic zombie pose or a random candid setting.

Zombies That'll Really Tie The Room Together: Because your dining room requires something a little more elegant, there's also these 3x4in, signed & framed silver point drawings available in a limited run, aka what you'll do when fleeing zombies even while refusing to let go of your cumbersome new painting.