Own

Bubble houses! Private island outfitters! Mimes!

This weekend at Jerry World, over 400 vendors will set up camp for the Great Big Texas Home Show, including everyone from celebrated patio-stoners to guys who build entire houses out of stuff like crushed beer cans (home is where the Harp is). Because 400 is a lot to grapple with, here are five of the sweetest things you'll see if you get your ass to Mars... er, Arlington:

Omni-Watch Systems: Boasting high enough resolution to be admissible in court, this home surveillance system can be viewed from anywhere, stores all its data in the cloud, and has infrared tech to ensure the video of you banging Rick Salomon doesn't totally suck.

EX Design Group: The Stemmons-based firm specializes in mind-blowing lighting and outdoor living spaces, both for the likes of you, and slightly wealthier clients like private island owners, and Trump Towers Miami, where everybody blusters about running for condo president but nobody actually does.

Unity Productions: These globetrotting oddballs costume/paint themselves like old-timey garden statues, then just kind of stand there frozen, an act they've taken to both Japan and the Indy 500, where the only motionless people are the ones who OD'd on funnel cake.

Adooring Designs: Ward off Jehovah's Witnesses/children naive enough to think you read magazines with an intricate iron gateway, or go with a similarly wrought door, window, stairway, or lantern.

BubbleTree: Made outta fire- and UV-resistant plastic, these inflatable, French-built spherical huts are large enough to fit a king-sized bed -- the ultimate solution for people who prefer hilarious, "No Immune System Jake Gyllenhaal" to "Wang Pill Salesman With Perfect Butt Jake Gyllenhaal", aka, the least-sweet thing you'll ever see.