Before you kneel before the Porcelain God, pray to the Ceramic Goddess: an MFA from the thriving metropolis of Anna, TX who hand-crafts medievally badass drinking vessels out of porcelain, then subjects them to "crystalline-glazing", wherein zinc crystals actually grow while in the kiln, as opposed to crystal methods that just mutter "This transmission is coming to you" and expect you to know what's up. Her vast inventory can be broken down into:
Lidded Steins: The Goddess' husband metal-casts the hinged tops on these guys, which feature ancient-looking portraits of everything from an "art nouveau warrior woman" to a triceratops skeleton, fitting since whatever's sloshing in your stein will eventually make you extinct.
Mugs & Tumblers: Dishwasher/microwave safe, you'll find these graced with the likes of scorpions, Celtic dragons, and even the phrase "Naughty Irish", i.e., when Notre Dame students get to 3rd base in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus.
Chalices: Enjoy the nectar of the gods via a bowl attached to a thick, fist-worthy stem, further regalized with designs like intertwined Celtic foxes; upon request, she'll also make a replica of the The Last Crusade's Holy Grail, so at least before you start drinking, people will say you chose wisely.