Own

Set your kitchen in concrete

Even though it's filled with knives and meat tenderizers, the kitchen hasn't traditionally been thought of as a manly place. Enter Culinarium: a sleek line of durable "Epicurean Accoutrement" hand-crafted out of natural materials like aluminum, cork, rubber, and concrete mixed with recycled marble dust, by a countertop-maker-turned-cement-artist who lives in a place called "Plum Island", which is either fictional, or in Massachusetts, or both.

Because you weren't born in a Pottery Barn, go for one of these choice pieces:

Salt Shaker/Pepper Mill: Featuring facets of contrasting white/gray concrete, this set's made from sandblasted aluminum and includes a Delrin interior to ensure smooth grinding, sure to draw compliments of "Hey, that's a very Nies salt shaker/pepper mill".

Natural Tray: Originally cast from a hand-sculpted clay mold, this guy boasts a surface similar to ceramic, rocks cork bump-ons for added tabletop protection, and, thanks to the composition of the concrete, "actually gets more durable as the years go by" -- so have fun keeping Curtis Martin still as you try to balance soup on him.

Hexagon Coasters: Hand-burnished and dressed with two coats of carnauba wax, this set of four natural-gray, cork-bottomed booze diapers is designed to "wick condensation away from the bottom of a wet glass" -- keeping your girlfriend from attacking you with a knife, or worse, a meat tenderizer.