Because you're too old for one of those mall portraits backed by purple stars, but too young for an actual portrait, commission something wildly creative and not-at-all stuffy from Digital Black Velvet. Run by a Halloween-born, Art Institute-degree'd Dallasite who grew up on cartoons, comics, making home movies, and "doodling like a madman", DBV manipulates photos into custom black light-esque works depicting their subjects in the most artfully stoner-ific manner possible; simply send him a shot, tell him what the intended use of the final product is (poster, t-shirt, desktop background, Facebook profile), work out details (preferred colors, effects, any text to be added), and let him know who the photo's of, e.g., you, a friend, or someone you're in love with -- though that could also be you, considering you're giving yourself a black light portrait...of yourself. Finished works in the gallery depict everything from a green-haired woman straw-sipping a tropical cocktail, to some dude in a pimp suit surrounded by an electric white halo (an ad for Joker vodka), to a big purple-lipped kid grabbing a little green kid by the collar, under the seeming-to-vibrate text "SHAKEDOWN!" -- though if this little kid's packing a legit wad, the big guy's gonna go get himself a Blizzard.
DBV will also do pets, like a German Shepherd named "Perrin" he transmogrified into a purple- and green-tinged fantasy beast straight out of a 1970s adult cartoon -- something you're never too old for, as long as something besides a mall photographer's got you seeing purple stars.