Men constantly try to prove the term "essentials" wrong, but if you substitute Arby's napkins for Charmin, how will you wipe the Bacon Beef 'n Cheddar off your hands? Quit running out of the things you unfortunately really do need, by subscribing to Guyhaus.
Started up by a guy young enough to remember when his mom bought all this crap for him, Guyhaus delivers straight to your door everything required to make your bathroom a temple to your needs, instead of just a place for praying to the porcelain god. To get started, simply pick from their list of "vitals", a motley assortment including TP, deodorant, razor blades, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, condoms, and mouthwash, which is apparently more than just your own mom washing your mouth out with soap after you scream "F***! I'm out of condoms!" Once you remember exactly what it is you typically forget, expect a care package midway through each month; you can also stagger the arrival of certain items, and set up alternate-month delivery for stuff you rarely use -- which somehow doesn't include condoms, despite you living with your mom.
The service also has a marketing component, which means you'll receive free swag once it learns the things you really really need...no, Jesus Christ man, not more Horsey sauce.