No, that tabletop is <em>not</em> actually moving

It's rare functional furniture that can truly double as art, despite all those attempts to convince guests that your apartment is really a conceptual installation entitled "Needs Dusting". Finally get some homewares deserving of black-beret'd pondering, with Derek Secor Davis Furniture.

Denver-born, Gold Hill-based, tri-named Davis works out of a home studio to create playful, vaguely organic-looking tables whose artful leanings're inspired by "personal things", which makes interviewing him at said home studio very awkward, so you better damn well appreciate getting the scoop on pieces like:

The Secret Table: A physical manifestation of the trauma he kept private after Gold Hill was devastated by fires a few years back, this side table's got a hole in the center meant to be a repository for stuffing handwritten secret notes, so be prepared to get creeped out when the table checks either "yes" or "no" in regards to if it likes you.

Arachnophobia: The most interesting early '90s horror comedy furniture since that chair in Beetlejuice, this maple/ oak table's undulating top is pure optical illusion! Well... the top is there, it's just flat. And it sits on eight eerily spiderlike legs.

Lawrence Welk's Big Adventure: A "whimsical" piece inspired by the show Derek grew up watching, this funkier number fits a bulbous base with a surface of actual beef bones inlaid under epoxy, creating a piece so interesting, you'll eventually have to convince your guests that your apartment's new installation is called "Needs Leaving".