Recon' you're gonna want to smoke these


Recon' you're gonna want to smoke these
Recon' you're gonna want to smoke these

    It’s time to ditch the Swisher Sweets (yes, even the blueberry cigarillos!) and pick up some Recon Cigars, a brand-new "avant-garde" line of Ecuador/ Nicaragua-imported, hand-rolled stogies conjured up by a retired US Marine, which're packaged in ammo casings, and completely covered in camo...wait, where the hell’d they go?!?! Whew, they’re actually still right here, as are these facts:

    • Said camo is actually pieces of wrapper that’re meticulously hand-cut and placed one at a time, before the finished product gets stuck inside a brass-colored aluminum tube modeled after a 25mm anti-aircraft round, although most boxers don't stand a chance against even a prop plane for three minutes at a time.
    • Being medium-bodied, they’re made to "meet the discerning tastes of aficionados as well as the entry- to mid-level smoker", even though most of those dudes working for Waterworld made Dennis Hopper seem like they've been around for a while.
    • For now, you can grab toro-sizers individually, but they'll soon be dropping a 20-pack boxed-up in a scaled-down Marine ammo case slapped with a completely terrifying explosives warning logo.
    • Recon’ll soon be releasing different sizes and blends that correlate with military rankings, presumably a homage to Bill Clinton’s love of combining cigars and Privates.
    • They’ll soon be moving beyond camo, as also in the works is a cigar rolled in the signature red/white/blue barber pole motif, signifying the place Nick Swisher emerges from, looking anything but sweet.

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