Own

They fix it, you drink

A minimalist outpost in South Miami from some gigantic nerds highly knowledgeable techies, TechBar can handle any IT-related problem, and perhaps more importantly, is planning secret, impromptu, booze-filled parties, at which you can spill more stuff on your laptop and keep the circle of computer-shop life going indefinitely.

The rundown

  • Apple, PC, Commodore 64, whatever: they'll fix it, along with cell phones, so it's good to know you have a sidekick who can handle that. Although don't you dare admit it if you have one of those phones.
  • They'll host classes and seminars on stuff like how to recover lost files or master photo programs, plus a small-business boot camp and "Welcome to the Cloud", which should really improve your social stratus.
  • Ahh! Your laptop crashed and you need to play Minesweeper, tomorrow, or else all the mines will blow up the world or something. Luckily they've got a 24hr turnaround service option.
  • Social media check-ins will net you a 10% discount, and they'll soon unveil scavenger hunts that'll reward winners with iPads and Beats headphones.
  • Every couple months, with short warning, they'll announce a VIP "Speakeasy" that'll serve free booze and bring in DJs for a seriously covert bash that should leave your powers of communication as minimalist as the shop.