Own

Get weird, get furniture

Minneapolis-based home designer Blu Dot is proving that swapping's not just for spit with their second-annual virtual swap meet, wherein they'll consider trading their furniture in exchange for your bizarre services, skills, and oddities (addendum: this means that your spit might actually work). Last year, only 18% of the proposed bids were accepted by the company, so to help get your creative juices flowing and your tasteful, modern furniture shipping, here's a sampling of 2011's winners, and ideas for how to improve upon each:

Last year: "Secret Blu Dot Handshake" won a $499 Modu-licious Bedside Table by offering to develop a baseball-/frat-like greeting for Blu Dot employees to identify each other with, all diagrammed out and sent in a sealed envelope. This year you should: Invent and sketch out an "Ancient" Shaolin Monk martial art that you'll send Blu Dot's office on timeworn parchment, so that their employees might better defend themselves when bullies catch them doing that stupid handshake.

Last year: "Epic College Kegger" won a $799 Buttercup chair by offering to throw Dot a bacchanal "so beyond plastic red cups", which included Jay-Z on the iPod, High Life on tap, and Facebook-inviting "Brad", who's "super good at beer pong". This year you should:Sit down and ask Brad about technique: arc, follow-through, etc. Turn the tables and, instead of throwing Blu Dot a college party, throw college a Blu Dot party. Hit up a fun (and responsible) frat at the nearby institution of your choice (or a hipster-house at MCAD, which'd probably work better) and offer to pay for their party costs if they make guests dress up as minimalist furniture & drink out of martini glasses. Also, decorate with a jar containing a fake left nut, which another one of last year's bidders actually offered to sacrifice. Blu Dot will get photo and video documentation of the whole thing.

Last year: "Random Acts of Worm-ness" won a $1799 Sleeper Sofa by promising to share with the world a video chronicling the releasing of the "most awesome, awe-inspiring dance move" at 25 public places like grocery stores and baseball stadiums. This year you should: Not even try to touch that because it's too good, and just stick with your original idea of blessing Blu Dot headquarters with some sick make-outs.