Because your grandfather clock is liable to blurt out racially insensitive nicknames and demand a pot roast on the half-hour, get a more modern timepiece from Pilot Designs: an ever-evolving, limited-run line of Minneapolitan tickers using sustainable materials to create something “simple, useful and unique”. Highlights include: Nate With white vinyl graphics on your choice of dark or light butcher-block laminate, this guy's inspired by '90s electronica CD cover art and the designer's love of science fiction show props, though who doesn't appreciate the way John Rhys-Davies supported Jerry O'Connell in Sliders? Honeycomb Available in either 12 or 24in models, this tessellation can be inlayed with a colored laminate and “casts a great shadow”, meaning it has nothing in common with the producers who gave Alec Baldwin that lead. Addison Made with scrap bamboo plywood from leftover furniture projects, this clock employs oversized vinyl hour numbers inset with minute ones that're tiny, a phrase that's only redundant if you never learned about heteronyms, dummy. Should you also need lights by which to read your new clock, Pilot makes a tower-like Akiba Table Lamp (melamine with a white velum shade) named for an area in Tokyo “bristling with the latest electronics”, and available in colors like black and Cinnamon Red, both of which you'd do well to sneak past that grandfather.