Psychologists agree that it's important to love yourself, though that probably won't get you off the hook for that incident on the bus. You know, the masturbating one? Put away the hand cream and show your self-adulation with a pillow of your face, from PillowMob.
PM's a cushion-crafting firm that lets you order custom throws emblazoned with pictures of your own face/ your friend's face/ Face from A-Team/ any other photo, which're screened on via a process developed by a tech vet and his Slovakian business partner, who presumably only take credit cards due to their past trouble with Czechs. Just upload a pic, then select a round or oval template and resize your mug to fit, before selecting a fabric to act as your "hair" on the rear of the pillow, including mint-green mojito, latte, tangerine, and zebra and giraffe prints, because you know you can't write in cursive with those hooves and whatever giraffes have for feet. If that's all too much work, you can go with a ready-made jawn like the hoodie-ringed mortified face of "Modo", the rooster-graphic'd "Chicken Sandwich", or the slyly grinning bearded man's smile in "The Other Happiness", a fairly mysterious description until you realize you're sitting on this dude's face.
For the future, PM's knocking around ideas like a throw-making iPhone app plus some new pillow shapes, including a possible full-body job, also an act whose boldness and ingenuity somehow didn't ring the trolley guy's bell.