Finally giving you pipes you'll want to leave out when your parents stop by: ZALcreations, a braintrust creating lighting and other homewares out of everything from construction supplies, to empty bottles, to plumbing fixtures, which to this point have mainly been "exposed buttcrack and 'laying pipe' jokes". Sample the awesome:
Bedside Lamp: Sporting a beer bottle for a shade, a galvanized pipe body, and a wire-rigged water valve acting as a switch, this will make sure you've got enough light to read six Baby-sitter's Club books before realizing that Mary Anne needs to dump the hell out of that shady Logan character.
Concrete Block Pendant: Seemingly ignoring the glaring question of "what could possibly go wrong?!", this lamp has a room-brightening halogen bulb housed inside a 30lb cinder block, which hangs from the ceiling via two thin steel cables. But seriously, it’s 100% safe, you should buy this thing.
Bottle TP Holders: These two-ply caddies come as either a wine-bottled two-roller or a single-rolled beer bottle jawn, perfect for cleaning up after...wait for it!!...a massive Schlitz.
If your abode's still rocking track lights,
hahahahaha ZAL's got you covered with halogen-ready coffee mugs, oil filters, and beer cans, making them the first cans you don't have to quickly throw a blanket over when mom and dad pop in unannounced.