The American Psychological Association says that at least 40 million Americans suffer from sleep disorders and that 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that interferes with their ability to concen -- hey! Don't you dare put your head down on that desk! There was about to be a joke! Sleep better at night so you can read informative hilarious email newsletters by day, with Lark, now available.
Designed by a Stanford dude who intellectually bedded several sleep experts, Lark is a silent alarm clock that syncs up any iProduct (Pad, Phone, Pod, Touch, etc.) with a soft, pillowy, watch-esque wristband that tracks your sleep patterns and gently wakes you with vibrations, which experts agree is dramatically safer than using Brian Wilson sitting on you while singing "Good Vibrations". Kick off your awesome sleeping by downloading the Lark app, connecting it to said vibrating wristband with Bluetooth, launching it, setting the alarm for the time you want to wake, then drifting off to sleep, once you've informed Mom which stuffed animals will be accompanying you (not tonight, My Pet Monster). When you awake, Lark will melt your face with a super-detailed, almost-creepy amount of info about your night of slumber thanks to that wristband, including time slept, the number of times you woke, "hibernation quality", a seismograph-esque sleep pattern readout, and how long it took you to pass out, which Ken Griffey Jr. always answers "Five or six innings, tops".
Lark can only take you so far, though once you're armed with that knowledge you're weirdly prepared to hit up a specialist and really figure out how to stop ensnkkkll/l/lnlkjjj -- hey! Now look what you've done! Get your damn face off the keyboard!