Okay fine, so modern technology may be the leading reason why game-obsessed children get lost in their own backyards, but that's all about to change now that Mophie's created a cutting-edge hardware/ software combo (dubbed the Juice Pack Outdoor Edition) to not only help those tubby losers find their way home from the trampoline they hate, but also make sure that, while they're gone, they never have to stop playing Fruit Ninja. It works because of both wizard magic and the fact that they amped up their external iPhone battery pack by pairing it with an advanced app developed with help from the mapping geniuses at NeoTreks, who must've begrudgingly took time off from producing sweet lines of Keanu-inspired mountain bikes. Use this rugged contraption to:
Know Your Place: The app comes shloaded with over 650k topographical maps covering five million square miles of the continental US and Hawaii, but not Alaska...hmmm, they must've got Baked before they did that one.
Live Longer: The 2000mAh (don't worry, it's awesome) external battery toggles between standby and charge to further increase its life-extending properties and give most users more than twice the battery life, making it way more embarrassing when you get lost hiking Torrey Pines State Preserve.
Protect Yo'self: Because you'll inevitably run into trees from excessively tweeting, the pack also doubles as an uber-durable, "dual-injected" protective case with shock-proofing rubber, which could also come in handy if you're into sexing electrical outlets.
Don't Destroy the Evidence: Like a non-biodegradable trail of super-smart breadcrumbs, you can use GPS waypoints to track your journey, record altitude/ velocity, and also pair them up with photos for "geo-reference", but not a "Neo Geo reference" as Fruit Ninja is not available on that alarmingly popular 24-bit gaming platform.