Since the only thing you ever bought for your room came with 10 too many umlauts and 10 too few screws, broaden your furnishing horizons with Dusty Stuff, an e-shop run by an SF dude who finds reclaimed wood and antiques and then refurbishes said 'tiques to make 'em awesome and dignified, much like sex with Helen Mirren.
Check out these pieces even a cougar would love to get its paws on:
Antique Secretary Desk
Because you can't bend your imaginary hella hot secretary over any old normal desk, snag this expertly restored 100yr-old piece, which -- with three drawers and 15 cubbies -- has enough storage area for all of your
15 Princess Diana Beanie Babies very important business documents.
Mid-Century Modern Coffee Table
Made out of solid walnut, this handcrafted four-legger will hold any amount of Red Dog cans you can place on it, and's finished with all-natural oils, rubbed polyurethane, and hand-waxing, which you'll be doing a ton of, after all, your imaginary secretary is hella hot.
Vintage Barn Lamp
Rewired and ready to mood-light your next hand-waxing project, this green-and-white room brightener sourced from central CA features a 10" metal shade, vintage brass socket, and long pull cord.
DS also carries other random found accessories like metal/wooden pulley wheels, plus fashions reclaimed wood coat racks and cutting boards outta old wood, which Dame Mirren is definitely familiar with.