Since your timepiece only does lame things like tell you the time, or tell you what the time was five minutes ago, check out Pebble, a new smartwatch outta Palo Alto that syncs with your iPhone/Android/Blackberry (HAHA, just kidding on that last one) to give you the ability to interface with your phone entirely from your wrist, meaning you can finally do awesome things like:
Check Your Email While Swimming Laps: How many times have you been swimming in a hotel pool you expertly snuck into, only to find out you missed out on an email about Giants tickets your friend expertly scalped? Thanks to Pebble's water-resistance, you can take this baby with you, then read missives and perfect your back-to-breast Individual Medley transition at the same time.
Change The Tunes From Across The Party: So, everyone's loving the iPhone playlist you set up for your awesome Jarty (jorts party, duh), when a hottie rocking the just-overalls look comes by and you want to switch to K-Ci & JoJo for some sweet macking music -- luckily this watch lets you control your phone's player from afar, so that girl is yours to OshKosh and B'Gosh.
Screen Your Calls Without Looking At Your Phone: Since Overalls turned out to be a Stage 5 Clinger, make sure you don't accidentally pick up one of her calls by quickly checking your wrist the next time your phone starts vibrating in your pocket, because, well, she's probably watching you right now.
For now, this is a Kickstarter program, but if you get in early and pledge, they'll give you a big discount on one of these super watches and, if you give enough, may even program it to work with your BBerry... HAHA, kidding again!