Shakespeare once wrote, "All the world's a stage," which means if you want the yellow jersey, you'll probably have to start doping just like everyone else. From a dude who started with stages before making a different kind of dope: Square Root Industries.
The pad-pimping fabrication studio of a gentleman who once flexed his design/engineering muscles by building concert stages (for the likes of Neil Diamond), theater sets, and the occasional theme park, SRI creates steel-based furnishings and art that offer striking abstract effects by integrating "contrasting imagery and materials that work", so not that shiftless Zirconium. The core of SRI's style're tables which feature a simple powder-coated steel base, but boast a diverse range of graphic elements set beneath tempered glass tops, like a steel tree motif set against green leather, a root design cut from a plate of steel and laid over a titanium white acrylic surface, or a console table with an expanse of finished walnut that sets off a black dove, that's just like a white wing dove, except it doesn't sing oooo baby oooo said oooo. Beyond tables, SRI also produces laser-cut steel wall art including a floral design that features a bloomed branch descending to a twisted root, a shadowy tree with branches that reach towards both ceiling and floor, or most badass-ly, a silhouette of an AK-47 with the barrel replaced by a guitar neck, also a medical condition caused when you can't stop looking at your fingers when playing Guitar Hero.
While SRI has some designs in stock and ready to go, every table can be customized with your choice of imagery, materials from steel to leather, and a range of colorful powder-coating, which these tables' parents are hoping is just a performance-enhancing stage.