The odd shape of things to come

Everyone's got different notions of what the future might hold -- some think humanity will be enslaved by pacifying drugs, while others fear a terroristic global regime will subdue us with something even worse: hugs. Imagining a future in which everyone wears amazing goggles, Torquearm Creations.

Torque's a self-taught Houston-area machinist who honed his skills in "heavy industry", dabbles in watches, bikes, and motorcycles, and creates apocalyptically imaginative steampunk accessories "inspired by the future that never came", but that "can still exist" -- though an overly constrictive pair of 2xist might be the very reason it never came. Beyond, like, 15 pairs of Mad Max-ian goggles, you can get your anachronism on with devices like the Dragon's Eye Monocle (made with leather, copper, and antique German clock parts) and the Steampunk Raygun, which apparently "isn't your kid's raygun", though it will be once the lawyers prove indisputably that you do in fact have a kid. Ready-to-wear-or-possibly-not-wear "vambraces" include the Lumos Torch, a corseted leather gauntlet thing bearing two generator-powered flashlights, and the Vacuum Death Ray, which in your imagination can vaporize "anything from a rogue pirate to an entire airship", but not an entire Starship, because for Mickey Thomas, no time is a good time for goodbye.

A few of Torque's pieces are actually useful in the year 2011, chiefly 2oz hand-dyed-leather-bound "Elixir Bottles", stoppered with corks and adorned with regulator gears and brass flutes -- don't let a huggy security guard find yours, or you'll be subjected to the bravest new world: sobriety.