Forgot to buy a Christmas gift for your pet? Then you've just outed yourself as someone zany enough to buy a Christmas gift for your pet, and so chances are you'll love this equally wacky Boston company that reimagines yours as a caped crusader: Pets Are Superheroes. Just send 'em 40 bones (no, not actual ones, you crazy dog lover!) and, in two weeks, they'll return you a hi-res file with a drawing of your little guy as a do-gooder ($15 more and you'll get a high-quality print). And because, what are you, Guy Who Knows Which Pet Should Be Which Superhero Man (ha, you're not!), here's a handy little guide to help you match up your beast with an appropriate hero:
Guinea Pigs: It only makes sense that they be drawn as heroes created in first-ever experiments, so, Captain America, Wolverine, or Green Lantern, who experimented with whether people could sit through an hour and a half of green fog power fighting equally shapeless clouds of orange evil.
Dogs: Big Bertha -- woof! No but seriously, go for maximum comedic effect
by pairing effeminate breeds with badass heroes, and vice-versa; so, like, a pomeranian should be Iron Man, and a doberman should be Ace or Gary from The Ambiguously Gay Duo.
Snakes: You probably know way more about comic books than this guide already, loser. And since those reptiles don't do much seeing, your gift of portraiture is going to be lost on them anyway. Maybe just treat them to a Christmas dinner with one of those guinea pigs or something.