Vince Lombardi once said "perfect practice makes perfect", though had he applied his wisdom to push-up machines, maybe he too could have had rippling pecs. Try attaining perfection via technique instead, with SportsCam.
Dreamed up by two avid golfers and computer science Ph.Ds, SC's an iPhone app that helps athletes improve pretty much any skill by capturing super-simple slow-mo vids for review and critique -- so basically they just stole the idea that got you kicked out of Camelot two years ago. Not playing like a girl starts with framing up the shot (or having a friend hold your phone) and hitting the countdown timer to record that excuse for a golf swing; your vid's frame speed can then be dropped down to as slow as one per second, also the speed at which Kim Kardashian ruins famous athletes. Continue the
embarrassment self-improvement by importing and syncing up your own videos with those of pros or friends performing the same motion (side-by-side, or on top of each other, ghost-style); there's also a nifty touchscreen telestrator so you can get your John King on, meaning at worst, your skills will become moderate...er.
If things are really bad, the same guys also offer skill-specific coaching-heavy apps for baseball and golf, or you could just keep using the Perfect Pushup, and become A-hole in one.