The Keurig Machine For Cocktails You Probably Didn’t Ask For

Whether you love it or hate it, it's pretty fair to say that the Keurig has become a fixture in our lives. So the obvious next logical step in its evolution is: add liquor. Bartesian is the bold innovator putting a spike into instant drink pods, because if people can settle for a weak cup of coffee made from a machine in 30 seconds flat, they'll have no problem reaching for a pod-concocted cocktail.

Like Keurig, Bartesian offers plenty of pods to choose from: launch drinks include Bartesian Breeze, Zest Martini, Uptown Rocks (all special edition pod cocktails), and old standbys like Cosmopolitan, Margarita, and Sex On The Beach. No word yet on whether the machine will be able to make the favorite drink of the target demographic, which is of course that one they can't quite remember the name of but insist on trying to order right when you're behind them at a crowded bar just trying to get another beer.

If you're the type of guy who's into this type of thing, hit up Bartesian's Kickstarter campaign here and pledge $249 to get an Earlybird version of the machine, which will retail for around $400 at launch. Just promise that you won't spend your savings at a bar. 

Brett Williams is an editorial assistant at Supercompressor. He's worked as a bartender and isn't sure how he feels about machines blowing up his spot. 

Want more of the stuff you shouldn’t tell Mom about delivered straight to your inbox? Click here to sign up for our daily email.