Assuming your appreciation for coffee is as unwavering and incalculable as ours, you should be feeling pretty damn excited about KitchenAid's new line of craft coffee makers. With nearly a century of experience under its belt, KitchenAid puts the Keurig to shame by proving you can in fact make gourmet coffee at home without drinking brown liquid that tastes like filtered elephant pee. That was mean, elephants are smart and sensitive creatures.
KitchenAid Siphon Coffee Brewer
Price: $249
Is it possible to practice vacuum brewing at home without a labyrinth of complicated instructions? KitchenAid believes so. With modern engineering, a simpler setup, and way fewer parts than your typical Hario Siphon, this sleek siphon brewer offers a clean, bold cup of coffee without the disposable filter or enraging confusion.
Pro Line Series Espresso Maker
Price: $1,299
The worst part of ordering a latte is the wait. However, if you're lucky enough to hit up a secret under-the-radar coffee spot, angry customers aren't a problem—but snobby baristas are. Enter the Pro Line Series Espresso Maker. Espresso, lattes, cappuccinos, you name it. With an additional frothing pitcher specifically designed to create latte art, you won't have to worry about angry side-glares from the dude who's definitely going to draw a penis in the foam.
KitchenAid Pour Over Coffee Brewer
Price: $199
In the complicated world of coffee snobbery, a pour over is often considered the pinnacle of brewing methods. The process involves everything perfectionists love the most: delicate pouring, systematic toiling, over-thinking, and brow-furrowing. This does all the legwork for you by automatically pouring just enough water to wet the grounds, while pausing long enough to let the coffee "bloom"—their words, not ours.