At the most basic level, a bachelor pad is any dwelling where you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want. At an advanced level, it's a temple of single self-indulgence where you can really do whatever the hell you want, whether it's having hundreds of your closest friends over for a rooftop party, or practicing your favorite outdoor adventure sport... indoors. We scoured the country for the most ridiculous spreads we could find. Instead of a poster of James Dean, you'll find a full-on replica of his motorcycle. Instead of a beer fridge, you'll find an antique basement bar imported from another state -- where it was once an actual functioning business. Read on, maddening envy awaits.

Ben Bacal/Williams Estates

1181 Hillcrest Avenue

Malibu, CA
Selling Price: $70,000,000
At 23,000 square feet, this Iron Man-esque Malibu castle could make this list solely because it’s freakin’ gorgeous. But there’s way more (like, way more): It’s got scale Transformers statues, a James Dean motorcycle replica, a James Bond bar, an artistic display of firearms and tequila, [deep breath], a Bentley-upholstered movie theater, and a legit candy store -- you know, for posterity.

Courtesy of Glodow Nead Communications

Penthouse, Millennium Place

Boston, MA
Selling Price: 3,950,000
Touted as a “tower country club,” all of the units in Millennium Place would blow the pants right off of any discerning apartment hunter’s expectations, but what makes the penthouse here so attractive is the direct stair access to a rooftop solarium with a Jacuzzi. AKA, way better than climbing a duct-taped ladder through a neighbor's closet.

Courtesy of Windermere Real Estate

625 S 240th St

Des Moines, IA
Selling Price: $4,185,000
Let’s get this out of the way: yes this estate is in Des Moines. Move past that, because its unassuming locale doesn’t make it any less glorious. After a $1.3 mil renovation, it now has an antique basement bar that was shipped from the legendary mining town of Butte, MT, a garage setup that houses a 70-strong muscle-car collection, plus a working gas station right on site (because: 70 cars).

Joshua Wells/Courtesy of Hall & Hall

Pioneer Moon Ranch

Hailey, Idaho
Selling Price: $7,400,000
All you really need to know is that this place used to be owned by Steve McQueen -- if living here gives you even 1/100th of his ability to break up a dozen marriages just by walking into a room, it's probably worth the price tag. The newly renovated, 500-acre property also comes complete with a second (yes, second) cabin, a four-bay garage, many fine recirculating rock fireplaces, and your own private swath of the East Fork River.

Thomas Good/Wikimedia

Corleone Compound

Staten Island, NY
Selling Price: $2,890,000
This old world estate appeared in The Godfather (it was Don Corleone’s house), so fittingly,  it's decked out with a bunch of stuff from the movie -- like original pieces of the gate out front and a signed script from Marlon Brando. There's also an in-ground pool in back (where was that in the movie? why didn't we get to see Marlon Brando in floaties?), and a pub in the basement. But mostly what you've got is an opportunity to tell an entire bar, "After-party at the Godfather's house!"

Songquan Deng/Shutterstock

21 E Huron St. #4501 (Pinnacle Penthouse)

Chicago, IL
Selling Price: $6,500,000
Believe it or not, that price tag isn’t that bad when you consider that it was dropped down from $8.9 mil. And it’s extra not that bad when you factor in the 45th floor views, a 1,500-bottle wine collection, a fully automated multi-room electronics system, two 1,000-square-foot terraces, and four balconies. See that view up there? Yeah. Suck it, lower-floor, one-balcony apartments.

Daniel Shapiro/Splash News

St. Jetersburg

Tampa, FL
Selling Price: Unlisted
Honestly, the name here was enough for us, because when thinking of a Jeter-owned mansion, one would picture this 30,000+ square-foot palace to be a straight up city of A-list partying. But the all-star shortstop has elected to leave the specifics to our imagination: to enter this bachelor pad you have to leave all of your electronics in a designated entrance spot. That’s tighter photo security than most strip clubs.

Beyond My Ken/Wikimedia

84 W 3rd Street

New York, NY
Selling Price: $4,300,000
Remember Ghostbusters? Who didn't want a fire pole in their place after that? Well, Anderson Cooper just purchased a 9,000 square-foot landmark firehouse building in the West Village, presumably for that reason. It’s not quite finished yet, but rumor has it that he’s adding artsy exposed-brick touches and an old-timey gym that turn-of-the-century firemen would’ve totally used (you know, with those spherical dumbbells, and unitard tank tops).

Courtesy of Homeowner via Sotheby's International Realty

3368 E Laurelhurst Dr

Seattle, WA
Selling Price: $3,400,000
If your idea of being a bachelor is "I don't have time for a relationship, I'm too busy mountain climbing!" start saving up. Not only does this 4,400 square foot, multi-acre property's expansive porch look out on Everest training ground Mt. Rainier, it also has a room inside equipped with floor-to-ceiling rock-climbing walls. Because sometimes you want to reach the apex in your PJs.

P Diddy’s Apartment on 56th Street

New York, NY
Listing Price: $8,500,000
Anyone who’s seen a Diddy video can probably figure out what his pad would look like (white. Everywhere.). The hip-hop mogul just sold his NYC digs for a hefty price tag, complete with the shag carpets, blinged out furniture, and a translucent grand piano in the wet bar. Wood-tone pianos are so stuffy, right?

Marina Bolla/Courtesy of Claudio Silvestrin Architects

BONUS: Kanye West’s Loft

New York, NY
Selling Price: Too Much
Just kidding! This place is terrible. Kanye just sold this NYC apartment, and we only included it to make you feel better about your place. Furniture? Nope -- concrete slabs. Homey touches? Nope -- bare walls and minimalist art. Square feet? Nope -- this thing is listed at 200 square meters. Though, there are a ton of windows so… all of the light, all of the light?

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