Dating back to the 13th Century, the fortress — formally known as Bran Castle — is not technically for sale, but its current owners (the Archduke Dominic von Habsburg and his sisters Archduchess Maria Magdalena and Archduchess Elisabethare) are willing to entertain offers should the right people be interested. And that means being as invested in preserving its rich history as they are.
Considering its age, you'll be inheriting some shoddy plumbing, along with whatever other typical maintenance issues plague a giant 800-year-old house in the middle of nowhere.
But as long as you're cool with that, and the whole idea that its the type of place a blood-sucking creep would lurk, and the fact that over 500,000 vampire-obsessed tourists will be traipsing through every year, things should work out just fine!
While you'd probably be welcome to furnish it in your own style, it's currently decorated like a museum with antiques and art from a previous owner, Queen Marie of Romania. Pretty gnarly stuff.
Well, this is a total nightmare. Maybe splurge on a different, less murderous-looking bedframe?
Keeping it well heated through the brutal winter would be a mostly futile chore. Thankfully though, most spaces — like this large drawing room — have their own fireplace.
It's been reported that the Archduke recently tried selling the castle to the Romanian government for around $80 million. So, be ready to pony up a chunk of change in that ballpark.
It's sort of a bargain, though, when you consider the history. While it was, of course, never home to any real vampires or even Vlad the Impaler (the brutal, bloodthirsty 15th Century Wallachian Prince who allegedly served as inspiration for Count Dracula), former tenants do include a fair share of badasses: Hungarian kings, lots of Romanian royalty, and even Teutonic Knights.