Since the story repeats itself every 86 centimeters, this terrifying TP works even if you don't live alone. With numbered pages, you should be able to keep track of things just fine. Unfortunately, the terrifying nature of this maestro's butt-wiping literature means that your reading sessions will remain short, so it might take a few sessions to finish the tome. Just make sure you aren't too far on the edge of your seat. That could get messy.
Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor at Supercompressor. The only thing that could top this in his opinion is a Bellagio bidet. Follow him on Twitter @ewolffmann.