Every Bond Villain's Lair, Ranked
Over the years Bond villains have proven to be pretty inept at their jobs, leaving 007 an undefeated 23-0 record. But there's still one area in which the bad guys reign supreme: lairs that make even the most garish MTV Cribs episodes look reasonable.
In the 23 official movies, there've been some phenomenal hideouts, from space stations to abandoned islands and discreet desert digs. Not every Bond movie has had a lair leaving us in envy, but we've rounded up and ranked them from best to worst, or less good. They're all pretty sweet.
16. Moonraker — MoonrakerObviously this is an awesome lair, but no one could ever come visit you. And it would be a huge pain to escape if something happened—you can't exactly swim to shore. That said, you could stop the space station's spinning and get your zero gravity on.
15. Atlantis — The Spy Who Loved MeIf you're 12, this is a lair with a kickass submarine and an aquarium. If you're 30, this is a lair that no one will ever get to visit because it looks like a giant goddamn water spider.
14. Ice Hotel — Die Another DayThis would be on the opposite end of this list if not for its one Achilles' heel—so delicate! A small temperature change and this thing is history. Fun while it lasted, though.
13. Zorin Blimp — A View to a KillHaving an office with a good view is always a good call, but Max Zorin took things a little far—advertising the lair on the blimp seems a little foolish and non-discreet, which ruins the whole point kinda.
12. Kentucky Stud Farm — GoldfingerIt's probably one of the more attainable lairs on this list. Someday, you too can have a stud farm in Kentucky if you work hard enough!
11. Alec Trevelyan Armored Train — GoldenEyeHalf-train and half-stealth fighter plane, this HQ on rails was pretty killer, and had a great self-destruct option. It also successfully survived a tank blast, so.
10. Sanchez Lair — License to KillFilled with cocaine, gasoline, guns, and a person shredder, this Latin American lair has the most Scarface-vibes of any on this list.
9. Mr. Big HQ — Live and Let DieThe lair that launched a thousand parodies. Why use a bullet when an elaborately staged shark tank and lowering system is available?
8. Thai Island — The Man With The Golden GunRemote, beautiful, and probably littered with the corpses of Francisco Scaramanga's dueling partners, the island's only downside is the need for a full round of mosquito-borne disease vaccinations.
7. Crab Key — Dr. NoThis Bahamian paradise showed the enormous pressure of being Mr. Bond. But the interior decor doesn't feel quite island-y enough. Might we suggest a redesign for the good doctor? It looks like it's in Norway, not Nassau.
6. Dominic Green Desert Lair — Quantum of SolaceInteresting architecture (especially for the desert) and a low carbon footprint. It doesn't even have a lawn to waste water on, let alone a shark pool. Bond villans, going green since 2008.
5. Abandoned Island — SkyfallThis very real island off the coast of Japan became a ghost island when coal production went south. Even though it's totally post-apocalyptic, there's something intoxicating about it.
Call it a fixer-upper.