4. Flying Tiger Motorcycles Two Stroke Smoke Candle - $17.98
Sixteen ounces of soy wax? Check. Wooden wick? Check. A healthy slug of Klotz two-stroke lubricant? Uh, check? Awesome metal packaging embalmed with a tiger? Check mate! We're not trying to make bold claims, when you burn this candle, your chest hair will get thicker and blacker.
5. Firebox Bleeding Skull Candle - $32.95
Shhh...no words. Just look at the GIF. Hnnnnnggggggggggg.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg.