Lifestyle

5 More Manly Candles For Your Manly Apartment

Guys, you shouldn't be afraid of candles. They're subtle and so cheap, yet so effective. We've done the candle song and dance before and we're not going to back down until every dude (and lady) on Earth is outfitted with these nice-smelling waxy things. Why? Because if someone asks you "Do you even candle?" your response should always be: "Yeah, stop asking."

1. Good Candle Mimosa - $30 
Finally, a candle that embodies the only reason you would endure the excruciating lines of Sunday brunch. Where do we sign up?! The mimosa candle is exactly what we assume Lucille Bluth's apartment smells like at any given time. 

2. Sydney Hale Sea Salt And Bay Rum Candle - $28
Do you miss the overwhelmingly manly scent of your grandfather? The kind of smell that suggests someone's too busy chopping wood and wrestling tigers to love you? Well, we can almost guarantee this sea salt and bay rum candle is about as close as you'll get to your dead grandfather without the aid of an industrial-strength shovel. 

3. The Stinky Candle Company New Car Candle - $9.99
We were actually sent a batch of Stinky Candles a few months ago and we'll never forget the smell of their famed "Rest Stop" scent. It smelled like vomit and piss and it made us all nauseated. If anything, we think of it as a testament to how well Stink Candle Company nails their aromas. Thus we're a little less afraid of New Car Candle, because that's a smell that means business and torque and gears and a Hemi, bro. 

4. Flying Tiger Motorcycles Two Stroke Smoke Candle - $17.98
Sixteen ounces of soy wax? Check. Wooden wick? Check. A healthy slug of Klotz two-stroke lubricant? Uh, check? Awesome metal packaging embalmed with a tiger? Check mate! We're not trying to make bold claims, when you burn this candle, your chest hair will get thicker and blacker. 

5. Firebox Bleeding Skull Candle - $32.95
Shhh...no words. Just look at the GIF. Hnnnnnggggggggggg.


Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg.