Sometimes you and bae just need to get away for a while. And while hotels could be a viable option, they're always crowded with other guests—a.k.a. weird strangers—taking up all the pool bar real estate. Airbnb's amazing because it includes beautiful places to stay in just about every city or village that you'd ever want to visit, and you're afforded complete privacy for all of the non-sleeping-related room activities on your itinerary as well.
If you’re looking for a quirky, romantic, or breathtakingly beautiful spot to book that's absolutely guaranteed to get you laid, I’ve got you covered.
Private Fijian Island
The listing says that the two Fijian-style homes on Nanuka Island can accommodate 10 people, but we’d recommend leaving the family and friends at home. No Wi-Fi, no television, and no air conditioning; just you, that special someone, and a 10-acre island chock-full of coconut trees, blue waters, and unbelievable views.
Cable Car over the French Alps
Courchevel, Rhône-Alpes, France
The listing was only available as a part of an Airbnb Ireland contest which is disappointing, but it still deserves a place on this list. The beauty of the mountains and the danger of making the cable car sway 9,000 feet in the air is enough to get even the most prude couples in the mood.
La Casa de la Playa
Isla Mujeres, Mexico
The above photo shows one incredible bedroom terrace, but there are five others on the property to choose from. There are also marble floors, plantation shutters, and a private beach...though the breathtaking view and Mexico's balmy weather are more than enough to make the night worth the fee.
The back of a Tesla
Phoenix, Arizona, U.S.A.
It’s like taking a date to a drive-in movie theater, only more expensive, and with climate control, a twin airbed, and access to a condo instead of a creepy kiosk for your eating and showering needs.
What’s sexier than pretending to be royalty while prancing around a 16-bedroom mansion atop a hill in Umbria? Not a lot of things. There's also a private chapel located out back, and everybody knows that getting hitched incrementally increases your chances of seeing some action.
Airplane suite in the Netherlands
Teuge, Gelderland, Netherlands
Join the mile-high club without ever having to go through security or leave the ground. The entire plane has been converted into a luxury suite with a jacuzzi, infrared sauna, free Wi-Fi, and a mini bar. Oh yeah, and there is no restriction on the amount of liquid that you can pack in your carry-on.
Cupboard under the stairs
Seattle, Washington, U.S.A.
Come on, admit it...we all have that one Harry and Hermione (or Ron) fantasy that we are dying to cross off the bucket list. This listing in Seattle comes with a set of the novels, so before the snogging starts, you can have the option of brushing up on the gospel of Rowling.
Yachting off the coast of Spain
Andraxt, Balearic Islands, Spain
It’s unclear where the captain stays during your romantic stay on this yacht, but who freaking cares? Pro tip: take art supplies and recreate scenes from The Titanic (minus the iceberg...and Billy Zane).
Luang Nuea, Chiang Mai, Thailand
Become one with nature and succumb to your animalistic urges while peaking out above the Teakwood forest and disrupting your neighbors in the cool village below.
Luxe apartment with an Eiffel Tower view
Paris, Île-de-France, France
You’ve seen the Eiffel Tower in countless photos, but nothing compares to seeing it up close and personal. Imagine sitting on this rooftop terrace and watching the tower sparkle with thousands of lights, every hour, on the hour. Toss in a bottle of some unpronounceable wine and you're golden.
Cold igloos, warm bodies, no ice fishing required. This swanky place also features a really cool bar and bonfires lit regularly, so even when you’re not spending time on a sheepskin-covered bed, there are other activities to distract you and your lover from the low temperatures.
Traditional riad in Marrakech
Marrakesh, Marrakech-Tensift-El Haouz, Morocco
The classic architecture and intimate lighting here set the mood for some quality sexy time. There's probably a lot of cool stuff to see in Morocco, but if you play your cards right, you won’t see any of it. WINK WINK.
Cocoon in a tree outside of Paris
Fondettes, Centre, France
I’ve always wondered what caterpillars really do inside of cocoons to turn into butterflies. Probably watch A LOT of Netflix. Whatever it is, it can’t be as fun as what goes on inside of this suspended “nest” in the ancient forest.
Huge Manhattan loft
Manhattan, New York, U.S.A.
The photos of this listing are painfully unsexy, but the appeal is all in the details. The space is 2,700 square feet and has a fish tank wall, jacuzzi, water fountains, three fireplaces, and a vibrating bed. Yeah. The 30-day minimum stay is a bit much, but there are worst ways to spend a month in New York City.
Abiansemal, Bali, Indonesia
The Sharma Springs house in Bali is six stories of fresh air and beautiful bamboo from floor to ceiling. Throw in a full kitchen, pool, views of the Ayung River Valley, and a personal butler, and you will be knee-deep in brownie points with your significant other.
Costa Rican beach house
Playa Hermosa, Jaco, Puntarenas, Costa Rica
This place looks like it was snatched right out of a supermarket romance novel. It would be a good fit for a couple of exhibitionists who want to feel rich and important for a night. Or a good place for a couple of actually rich and important people to throw a swingers party.
Converted church in Chicago
Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.
Stop obnoxiously playing her Hozier’s “Take Me to Church” over and over again, and actually take her to one. This one, specifically. Then say a ton of Hail Marys for the sacrilegious acts you've just committed.
Hobbit house in Thailand
Sikhio, Nakhon Ratchasima, Thailand
This is as close to exploring the Shire with your precious as you’re going to get. They have costumes, games, and other hobbit-related materials in each of the rentals, so boning like Bilbo seems kind of mandatory. Sorry Samwise.
Williamsburg palace in the sky
Brooklyn, New York, U.S.A.
This is the kind of Brooklyn apartment that I dream about at night. Imagine being able to lie in bed and still watch the sun set on Manhattan from this spacious loft. Good luck getting the same experience at a hotel for this price.
Historic German Beer Barrel
Ostbevern, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany
The bragging rights alone are enough to make this rental worth the trip to Germany. I'd be a little nervous about breaking the barrel, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Andrew LaSane is a contributing writer to Supercompressor. He has probably now been blacklisted by every Airbnb rental owner on the planet. If you’re willing to be his proxy, find him @laptop_lasane.
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