The Butt Face Towel: Household Necessity

Sure, you may be partial to your luxurious Ralph Lauren bath towels, but every time you hop out of the shower to dry off you're putting yourself at serious risk of cross-contamination. Frankly, you're probably blotting your face with the same part of the cloth that's been seriously intimate with your nethers, and well, that's gross.

Get your act together and pick up a Butt Face Towel. I mean, look how much fun these people are having. You need one.

Its function is straightforward: the Face section is to be used to dry off your head and hair and the Butt section is for your nethers. And for the illiterate, they're aptly color-coded. For the illiterate AND color-blind, well, that's a dilemma above our pay-grade. 

Joe McGauley is a senior editor at Supercompressor and bathes frequently.