The Voodoo Knife Holder

Here to mitigate your understandable anger for the man or woman who will no longer answer your calls is "The Ex" Voodoo Knife Holder. Channel that rage into something useful, like organizing your utensils, while simultaneously working your own personal voodoo magic on this polished metal, human-like knife rack.

Over a foot tall and 11 pounds, this statement piece deserves a spot of honor in your kitchen, where it will proudly declare "I'm not bitter at all."

Previously available in plastic from artist Raffaele Iannello, the metal re-issue isn't just meant for eerily violent storage, it also comes with a set of top-notch German stainless steel blades. Which you should absolutely only use in the kitchen.

Or have a very compelling alibi.

Ali Drucker is the editorial assistant for Supercompressor. Not a jury in the world would convict her. Follow her on Twitter @ali_drucker.