The Zoltar Machine That Turned Tom Hanks 'Big' Is For Sale

If we could only choose one movie from the late-'80s/early-'90s in which young boys had a full-on relationship with a legitimately older woman, Big certainly beats out both Blank Check and Milk Money. Huh. Looking back, that was a pretty iffy genre to run with. Anyway, the Zoltar Fortune Teller Machine that turns Tom Hanks into a grown-ass man (and somehow a hotshot at a toy company) is for sale for only $8,500. 

This thing comes fully loaded: built-to-order in a birch veneer cabinet with solid oak trim, with chest-heaving movements, a light-up crystal ball, and even 16 Zoltar messages. All your dreams can come true with this iconic piece of movie history. Zoltar's the best wingman ever—he legit hooked up a 12-year-old boy with Elizabeth Perkins. 

At 77" tall and 33" wide, Zoltar can go anywhere in your house...the living room—literally anywhere. If you can afford the $8,500 price tag, you can afford the $450 shipping fee. So do yourself a favor and put this in your living room so you, too, can bang Elizabeth Perkins.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and was so jealous of that friggin' kid.

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