If we could only choose one movie from the late-'80s/early-'90s in which young boys had a full-on relationship with a legitimately older woman, Big certainly beats out both Blank Check and Milk Money. Huh. Looking back, that was a pretty iffy genre to run with. Anyway, the Zoltar Fortune Teller Machinethat turns Tom Hanks into a grown-ass man (and somehow a hotshot at a toy company) is for sale for only $8,500.
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This thing comes fully loaded: built-to-order in a birch veneer cabinet with solid oak trim, with chest-heaving movements, a light-up crystal ball, and even 16 Zoltar messages. All your dreams can come true with this iconic piece of movie history. Zoltar's the best wingman ever—he legit hooked up a 12-year-old boy with Elizabeth Perkins.
At 77" tall and 33" wide, Zoltar can go anywhere in your house...the living room—literally anywhere. If you can afford the $8,500 price tag, you can afford the $450 shipping fee. So do yourself a favor and put this in your living room so you, too, can bang Elizabeth Perkins.
Jeremy Glassis the Vice editor for Supercompressor and was so jealous of that friggin' kid.