A Conversation with AJ Bailey

With a Masters in Anthropology and Museum Studies from St. Andrews University, AJ Bailey was recently proclaimed "World's Smartest P**nstar" by the geniuses at TMZ. We caught up with her during a recent NYC visit to promote her Vivid debut, The AJ Bailey Experiment, and traded tales about how hard it is to be so hot that people can't stop thinking about your brains.

First things first: would you have sex with Thrillist? Yes!

Indeed you are smart. So this DVD marks your first on-camera boy-girl scene. What were you doing before? I did girl-girl to pay for grad school, and then it's been a good two or three years since I've done anything, and I have my masters, and I came back over here and the economy's in a slump. You know, I'm still young, I'm still hot, and I'm resourceful, so I decided to give it a go and to go all in this time.

What three people, dead or alive, would you have to a dinner party? Bill Clinton, Marie Antoinette, and Elvis.

What if by "dinner", we really meant "sex"? Bring it on!

What's your favorite term for penis? When I want to dirty talk I like to call it a c**k, but when I'm f***ing around I love to call it the peen!

So you were the class above Prince William at St. Andrews. Does that make you a year smarter than him? I'll go with yes.

What kind of early rituals were the sexiest? I know there are still some cultures that practice polygany, which is multiple husbands for one wife...that's hot.

How realistic was Raiders of the Lost Arc? Oh, totally realistic. We have a class solely on whip cracking.

Who in the industry can you have stimulating sex with? Right now, my favorite two are Billy Glide. He's the girthiest white guy in the business, and we talk it out beforehand and have really great scenes. And I also like Danny Mountain, because he's British and he's hot, and we have good chemistry too.

What do you mean by "talk it out"? I've had a really rough day and I saw Billy, and I told him "Billy, I want to work it out today, I want you to just kill it" (slapping sounds with hands). For being the biggest in the industry, he's actually the gentlest, but he makes it look the roughest, and that's what I really really like. Sometimes they're lovey dovey, sometimes they're squirty dirty.

Australopithecus: go! AA was one of the first Australopithecines who in the Out of Africa theory eventually became homo habilus, which coexisted with neanderthal man. There's two theories, one of which that we interbred, which is called the Multi-regional theory, and there's the Out of Africa theory, what's most commonly believed by most anthropologists, even though there's still research to be done, is that Australopithecines became homo habilus, which became out modern day homo sapiens.

What matters more: brains or veiny, throbbing girth? Brains. This interview is over.