To meet women in Vegas, even a guy who normally avoids clubs can find himself desperately trying to force Lincolns into a doorman's meaty paw. For a savvier route, we turned to Monica White, #5 in Maxim's 2003 "Hometown Hotties" list, whose concierge service Vegas Passport helps even the meekest of men do it up like the most glamorous of C-listers:
On how money can't overcome looking like a chump:
If you're not in dress code (or if your buddy's a belligerent drunk), all the money in the world won't get you in. You can't wear sneakers and get into these clubs.
On how the above's true even if you're an angry Terrell Owens
Never do that [screaming "Do you know who I am?" to a doorman at The Bank], because they'll see it as being cocky -- then they can just be proud of how big a celebrity they can turn away.
On why you need to roll with women:
It's night and day. Pretty much every Vegas nightclub is conscientious of the guy-to-girl ratio. Never approach the door with more than 6 guys at a time. If you have a large group of guys, break up into smaller groups.
On the importance of showing for your rez on time, with no stragglers:
It's recommended that everyone arrive together and get there before midnight. The club may make you purchase another bottle if more guys join your table after you check in. If you get to the club after 11:30-midnight, the club will most likely sell your table to someone else.
On what it takes to get the best table in the house:
$800-$1,500+ for the table, plus a minimum of 5 bottles, no matter how many you have in your group (and watch out: if you book it yourself, there's a huge chance that when you get to the door they'll change the price or bottle minimum, or bump you for a celebrity). Most of the time the "best" tables are on the dance floor, but then you're in the spotlight. Some of the best tables are in dark corners -- you can get away with way more.
On what bottle to buy, and how buying it gets you more than just beautifully drunk:
Vodka is the staple, though my girls and I prefer champagne. [Bottle service] really helps your chances with the ladies, because then the managers and hosts are working for you, and they'll bring the hottest girls to you. Tell them your criteria (like "she has to be at least a 7 and her friends have to be no worse than a 6") and they'll go out on the floor and invite them to your table. Nine times out of ten [the girls] will say yes.
On the best night for guys to go out:
Worship Thursday at Tao is almost always packed with hot girls. Here's a tip: go to the center bar and look up. There's a 2nd story with a clear railing by what just happens to be the ladies bathroom line, and you'll get lucky with some short skirts. [editor's note: this could also turn out bad]
On living the bachelorette party dream:
Any major Casino on the LV strip has girls roaming in their matching shirts and/or veils, but you'll find that ladies nights with free booze for chicks will have the most. Rok Vegas at New York New York has ladies night every Friday.
On where you'll end up if those bachelorettes are all skanks (i.e., you strike out and settle for a strip club):
Don't wear jeans. The softer your pants are the better the dance you're going to get. Guaranteed.