Topless Vegas

If you buy one e-book this year, it clearly must be Arnold Snyder's Topless Vegas, a staggering breakdown of Sin City's entire naked scene: 41 establishments rated for excellence or lack thereof, plus info on rules, etiquette, and the procurement of a "Monday Night Football Titty Blizzard". Herewith, the professional gambler and author showers us with his wisdom:

Did writing this book cost you any relationships?I come from a family of born-again Christians, and to be honest none of them know that I did this book. If any of them found out I'm sure they'd say, "well you've been writing books about gambling for twenty years, so what do we expect".

What differentiates your book from some of the other writing that's been done on the Vegas naked-lady scene?I've never seen honest reviews... that give the perspective of a customer who really likes strip clubs. The same goes for the casino's shows. I go in with the mindset of "does this show turn me on?". If it doesn't turn me on, it's gonna get low ratings. Which club has the best-looking girls for the buck?You'll always find great looking girls at Déjá Vu and Little Darlings. The most popular topless clubs also hire the hottest dancers, so Spearmint Rhino, Rick's Cabaret, and Sapphire. If you're into the VIP rooms, and if you're into getting "high mileage" as they say, you're gonna get more action in the topless clubs. The nude clubs, the girls are younger, and are not quite as free as they are in the topless clubs. What's the relationship between club quality and augmentation?I would say this: The majority of girls in the nude clubs have had no boob jobs, and the topless clubs, I'd say fifty percent or more have had boob jobs. If you ask any of the dancers, they'll all tell you a boob job pays for itself in a short amount of time.

What's the craziest thing a dancer's ever said to you? Or the sweetest thing?(Very long pause) There was a dancer that I told about my chickens, which I have at home, and she told me about her pet chicken she had as a kid that she named Chicktoria that followed her around the house, and used a litter box, and slept with her at night.

Which dancers can you single out as being the best at a particular move, either a classic, or one they invented themselves?I would say first of all, the absolute best dancers I ever saw were at Forty Deuce, which has recently closed here in Vegas. They understood stripper moves, even though they still had lingerie on. As for pole dancing...I would say Little Darlings and Déjá vu. No other clubs can touch those two. They are wonderful athletes. Have you ever gotten into a very close friendship with a dancer, and promised to "save them from all this" but were really just doing it because you wanted free lap dances?No, never have. I never bullsh** any dancer, I'm married and don't take my ring off or anything like that.

Which place has the most unsympathetic/bloodthirsty bouncers?There have been bouncers that I didn't appreciate; for instance in California, if a guy reaches to touch, [the bouncer] will run in and make the guy sit on his hands. Vegas isn't like that though, the bouncers don't get involved, unless a dancer is asking for help, or he can see she really needs help. Who's got the VIP'est VIP Room? Whose VIP room sees the most acts that make you question the existence of humanity?The plushest VIP rooms are at Badda Bing. In the real popular clubs, the VIP rooms are like group affairs. A lot of guys enjoy that orgy atmosphere, but at Badda Bing, you can often be alone with the dancer, with really plush, elegant décor.

If you could have all the money back that you've spent on gratuitous strip club ATM surcharges, what would you buy?(laughs) I could probably buy a pretty nice car. If you're talking about over the course of my life, man, I could probably buy a house. What would you say if your daughter came home and told you she was a stripper?First of all, my daughter is going to be 40, and already has a son, so I guess I would say "I think you're a little bit past your prime". (laughs) If she were say twenty, I think I would look at it a whole lot the same way if my son told me he wanted to be a stand up comic, or in a band. I would understand it, but I wouldn't be thrilled.