20. UMass Boston
When I lived in Southie in the mid-aughts, I would go to the Healey Library to read all of the books about Ireland, or at least that was the plan before I discovered it also had magazines. Everyone around me always seemed weirdly focused on what they were doing, because most of them had real jobs as well as school and couldn’t just use their time in the library to hate-read old Rick Reilly columns from the backs of Sports Illustrateds.
Are you a cop? Because you’d have to tell me if you were a cop, right? Fisher, with its vaunted criminal justice major (#2 in the US, according to US News & World Report), is indeed home to many wannabe cops and wannabe FBI and Secret Service agents, now mostly because the latter gig sounds like the law enforcement version of a spring break travel guide. Their colors are even blue and white, so future cops can get used to the matching, which I’ve been led to believe is the hardest part of the job. And perhaps because of that rigorous affiliation with law, any attitude is... waitforit... arrested. No? But do you get it? TELL ME YOU GET IT.
Did you know that, in 2000, the first women’s Catholic college in New England and the safest answer to the question, “Where did my eighth-grade World Geography teacher originally transfer to Lesley from?” leased a portion of its campus to Merck Pharmaceuticals in exchange for $50 million? Do you think that that financial windfall could somehow turn Nancy Kerrigan’s fellow alums into New Money jerks, what with their free samples of Januvia and Remicade and Gardasil? Well, the answer is likely no. Bonus fact: their literary magazine is called Bang! (with that exclamation point!).
A school made up entirely of guys named Patrick who used to play CYO basketball at one of three churches in Peabody is not, on the whole, that obnoxious.